Tuesday, March 2, 2010

A Tiger in the Bathroom

It has been quite some time since I have made a blog post, and Aaron “Jake” Lyons commented how truly witty I am so I thought I’d throw something together. I haven’t found to much to talk about lately only because I try not to make my post so much about myself but reflect my opinion on what is happening in the world. Considering the fact I can only bag on Obama so many times before I sound like Rush, there hasn’t been to much in the news. But the kind folks at Sea World left me with a little something to go on here. So here is my take on becoming best friends with something that is ahead of you on the food chain.

Now that I have moved back to my hometown I find I have a bit more free time on my hands and am usually looking for something to do. Until my lease is up in Broadripple I am just staying here during the week and heading home weekends but once I settle down here with my own place I’d like to get a dog again. That’s right a dog, not a grizzly bear or a stabbing murder cat (they are real, look them up) but just a simple dog. The reason I would like this basic pet is they are fun, loyal, and probably will not try to kill me. Yeah that’s right Siegfried, I’m looking at you.

Thanks to organizations like PETA we are in a world where we believe that wild animals have feelings and bond with us. Disney movies about talking lions and hyenas make us think that these animals connect with us. With that said I have had two dogs in my life and I have loved both of them. They were wonderful pets and I miss both of them immensely, I never cried more in my life then when Jags died and losing Jedi was heartbreaking, but if I died and there was no food around, they would eat me. I am not an animal hater by any means. I think pets are great, I consider each dog I have owned to be very different and have a type great personality, mostly they have been loyal to a fault. That doesn’t mean I should try and raise a cobra.

The Sea World trainer that was pulled in by her whale and drowned was tragic, and I feel sorry for her family and friends, but come on, Tilikum the killer whale had already “murdered” two other trainers, this bastard is more of a serial killer whale and they still plan on keeping him in the shows. That’s like going to Jeffrey Dahmers house for dinner. A lot of activist feel that releasing Tilikum would be cruel, because he would not survive in the wild and would more then likely die within the year which is sad… but he’s such a dick. If he were some type of crime fighting whale who lived a double life as a billionaire playboy who sometimes got carried away in his quest for vengeance I would understand, but he keeps killing trainers at Sea World. If you have a pit bull that keeps eating kids, you Old Yeller his ass, same thing with the whale. Maybe at least fly him back to the moon. (If you don’t catch that, watch the Free Wilziyak episode of South Park)

So please, ass-holes at extreme animal rights group, please notate that human life usually outweighs that of an animal, unless it is a Koala Bear (they are so adorable!). Because honestly you could be at a rally for Great White Sharks demanding their safety and if you looked enough like a seal, they would eat you along with your picket sign. I am guessing it is a underwater event so that works in my mind. Let’s just do what we need to do and get some lamp oil and caviar spoons made. (All products we can make from Tilikum and friends!)